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Outsourcing Your Dishes

June 15, 2010

Gift-giving occasions can throw Ali into a tizzy, so as a holiday or birthday approaches he will subtly ask for hints as to what I would like him to buy me.  My standard answer? 

“Please don’t buy me anything.  The best gift ever would be for you to clean up your ____ (insert any number of things, including his desk in the den, his closet floor, or the pile of cables sitting in the laundry room).” 

Pretty straightforward right?  I mean, doesn’t every guy wish his wife was as low-maintenance as me?  

You can stop laughing now, but I swear that when compared to other people I am really not that bad.  I recently met a newly engaged girl who insisted on exchanging her ring for a larger stone.  And when that one wasn’t good enough she exchanged it for another.  I swear that story is true!  After I heard that I felt a bit more at ease with my demands for a separate bathroom and closet.

So every year Ali ignores my pleas for a cable and clutter-free existence and goes out to buy me something instead.  And 99% of the time I return it.  Before you start feeling bad for “John” Ali do know that he rejects almost everything I so thoughtfully purchase for him as well.  I guess we aren’t quite on the same wavelength when it comes to gift-giving.  Or much else for that matter.  But that is another post altogether.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I came into the kitchen after dinner last night and there were no dishes in the sink?  I was so thrilled that Ali finally took my 10th anniversary gift request seriously!  That is until I watched this:

This video gives “passing the buck” a whole new meaning.

52 Comments leave one →
  1. June 15, 2010 12:07 pm

    LOL oh no!!!!

  2. June 15, 2010 12:23 pm

    The video says it’s private. Maybe I’m doing something wrong? I’m itching to see it!! 😉

  3. Michelle permalink
    June 15, 2010 12:27 pm

    haha oh dear. At least you got your birthday wish!

  4. lowandbhold permalink
    June 15, 2010 12:37 pm

    Haha, hey as long as there are no dishes does it matter how they got that way? Screw child labor laws 😉

  5. June 15, 2010 12:39 pm

    oh no! haha but i must admit that whenever my mom tells me to do something i pass it off to a younger sib

  6. June 15, 2010 12:42 pm

    How funny! I’m glad you got your wish though. 😉 Congrats on your 10th anniversary!

  7. June 15, 2010 12:42 pm

    Love it! It’s clear he’s mastered the art of being Tom Sawyer. I wonder if I will be half as fabulous as you when I have kids. You approach everything (including puke) with such humor. Plus, your mother-in-law has awesome taste in shoes. I’m slowly working my way through your archives. Thanks for the giggles and for giving me something to aspire to 🙂

  8. tra permalink
    June 15, 2010 12:55 pm

    OH GOSH!!!! hahahaha i keep laughing.

    we should have a callus sharing party. just kidding. hahaha no matter how many times i call it a cancer cube (it’s coz my mom yells at me standing right in front of it) i still use it for its convenience!

    and my mom is like that about gifts!!!

    hey, do you guys go to the park on thursdays?

  9. June 15, 2010 12:57 pm

    I couldn’t watch the video for some reason. Boo! Does it have to do with my work computer? Anyway, that’s absolutely incredible that she helped with the dishes, as I didn’t do this even as a teenager who was paid to do it. Gift-giving is tricky. I don’t ever buy anything for Lawrence blindly. I stick to things he’s mentioned wanting. He buys me stuff blindly though and he does a really good job. It shocks me every time. I agree that doing errands/chores is really the best gift!

    • Ali permalink
      June 15, 2010 8:43 pm

      It’s possible your work blocks YouTube and other sites. You can test by going directly to you tube, trying an email site like hotmail, a sports site like espn, or a career site like monster. Those are the usual categories that get blocked at work if they have that technology in place.

  10. June 15, 2010 12:58 pm

    aaack! i keep getting private. this is killing me lol. i’ll be back.

  11. June 15, 2010 1:15 pm

    teehee…cute! i think your daughter just taught my daughter how to wash dishes.

  12. oc2seattle permalink
    June 15, 2010 1:27 pm

    That’s too too funny! I love Maya’s “next things next.” At least he turned the dishwasher on, right 😉

  13. June 15, 2010 1:28 pm

    The amazing thing is that it actually took him a longer amount of time to bribe her and make the video than it would have to actually do the dishes. But…they got done!

    Guys never get the gift thing and can’t seem to grasp the fact that yes, I do actually want you to fill my car up with gas, do the dishes or fold the laundry. That would make me happier than a generic bouquet of flowers and stale candy. We’re not asking for much, are we?

  14. June 15, 2010 1:35 pm

    Oh my! I guess that is a good skill for a 5 year old to practice, but still funny he had her do them. Men think they are so inventive. LOL

  15. actorsdiet permalink
    June 15, 2010 1:35 pm

    i love how maya keeps saying “next thing’s next.”

  16. June 15, 2010 1:36 pm

    Lol! Well at least Ali offered to help turn on the dishwasher 🙂 That’s gotta count for something right? Maya is too adorable, though. I love how she’s so matter-of-fact about it all.

  17. June 15, 2010 1:49 pm

    WOW Ali is very smart.. he “did” the dishes by training Maya…

  18. June 15, 2010 2:33 pm

    LOVE it!

  19. June 15, 2010 2:39 pm

    Hahaha, I need a five-year-old!

  20. kat permalink
    June 15, 2010 3:03 pm

    So cute!!=)

  21. June 15, 2010 3:05 pm

    i was such a Maya at her age!! I LOVE THIS!!! ❤

  22. Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
    June 15, 2010 3:12 pm

    haha thats SO cute!! 🙂

  23. June 15, 2010 3:24 pm

    That is adorable! haha! What a sneaky hubs!

  24. June 15, 2010 3:51 pm

    OMG, Maya is simply adorable and I love the way she says, “Next things next”

  25. June 15, 2010 6:50 pm

    AHHH !! Priyanka stole my line!!!

    I was GOING to be all proud and be the first one to say:
    “My favourite part is when Maya keeps repeating ‘Next thing’s next!'”

    I don’t know why I was so proud of saying that, but I was. Oh well.

    Now, despite your subtle fun-pokings at Ali, the video is proof that being married to him could never be boring.

    • June 15, 2010 6:51 pm

      OK never mind. Scrolling through your comments, I realized that the next thing’s next comment had been mentioned by several people, and on several occasions.


  26. June 15, 2010 7:01 pm

    Well at least SOMEONE is cleaning the dishes. Maybe it’s better. She’ll learn early 😛

    I’m pretty low maintenance as well. It’s all about the little things.

    I would NEVER ask someone to exchange an engagement ring for a bigger stone. SERIOUSLY?!?!? Bridezilla in the making.

  27. June 15, 2010 8:33 pm

    Haha, he may be lazy but at least Ali is funny. And hey, he did turn on the dishwasher. So technically he helped.

    I am the worst at giving gifts. I suck at it. I never know what to get for people, and I find men particularly hard to choose things for. I can’t begin to understand what they like, and most of the stuff I can’t begin to afford.

    I love that you two are blunt with each other. When someone gives me a gift that I don’t want, I don’t have the heart to say or do anything about it.

  28. June 15, 2010 10:42 pm

    hahaha… Oh dear. At least, Maya knows how to do the dishes now.

  29. June 16, 2010 3:49 am

    OMG thats hilarious! His mind is exactly where my Mom’s was when I was a kid…train your kids to do the chores you don’t want to do 🙂

  30. June 16, 2010 5:06 am

    I love it!! “next things next.” Can I borrow her for a while? I need a dose of adorable in my life 😉

    Also–I can never understand girls who want HUGE rings. It’s easy for me to say that, since my rock would be considered small by some. But it was hubby’s grandmother’s diamond and the specialness of that tops any size it could be. Plus, I’d totally have broken the setting already if it was any bigger.

  31. June 16, 2010 5:15 am

    oh goodness. At least you got your wish though! lol


  32. June 16, 2010 5:15 am

    HA HA. At least he’s smart. And she’s obedient. 🙂

    Oh, and I always tell my husband to just clean up around the house for a gift for me. Instead, I’ve gotten XM radio and a cell phone. I think he forgets he likes tech stuff, not me.

  33. Jessica permalink
    June 16, 2010 5:19 am

    Well, the job has got to get done some how! You could probably pay her in tiaras or glitter.

  34. June 16, 2010 5:43 am

    omg she is too cute. “next things next.” i love it.

  35. June 16, 2010 6:29 am

    HAHA priceless!

  36. June 16, 2010 6:47 am

    lil punkin! She is ADORABLE!

    I am dying! so so so cute!

    I love it when she can’t rinse her spoon, so she is tapping the faucet with it.

    I’d take that! any birthday or anniv. so freaking cute!
    thanks for sharing!

  37. June 16, 2010 6:51 am

    Hahahahaha, “next things next…” haha, love it!! She is sooooooo adorable!! 🙂 Too funny!!

  38. thehungryscholar permalink
    June 16, 2010 8:23 am

    I love the video 🙂

    Glad you came home to an empty sink!

  39. June 16, 2010 8:35 am

    This is amazing…not only is Maya adorable with her “next things next” and tapping the spoon under the tiny trickle of water coming from the faucet…but that Ali videotaped it! At least he got one of your daily tasks done!

  40. June 16, 2010 11:07 am


  41. June 16, 2010 3:18 pm

    Maya is a little mischievious one.

  42. Med permalink
    June 16, 2010 4:46 pm

    Next things next…Maya folding the laundry?

  43. June 16, 2010 7:31 pm

    ❤ the rice cooker in the background 🙂

  44. Anjum permalink
    June 16, 2010 9:21 pm

    Can she give Rehan lessons??

  45. June 17, 2010 8:18 am

    Too funny! Can she give my 5 yr old lessons?!

  46. June 17, 2010 8:49 am

    LOVE it- My mom used to get me to do work by saying we were playing “maids”

  47. nadia permalink
    June 17, 2010 9:52 am

    Maya you rock!!! this is too much and too cute and reminds me that my kids are not too young to start w dishes/making tea for mommy(can’t wait for that one) and on and on…changing diapers, burping new baby….i can’t wait to put them to work!

    thanks for the inspiration, and she knows how to load the dishwasher so neatly, i’m so impressed!

  48. June 18, 2010 4:09 am

    Next thing’s next! hahah! 🙂

  49. June 19, 2010 5:40 pm

    Too funny.

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