because it’s a race
One of my husband’s goals in life is to not spend one second more than necessary at the airport.
And in his effort to make this happen, he plans, devises strategies, and inevitably angers and annoys his fellow travelers (me and Maya) beginning 48 hours prior to departure (PTD).
The following is based on our departure from London last week:
- 48 Hours PTD – Ali discussed, at great length, the cost / time benefit of taking a cab to Heathrow versus the Underground or car service. He consulted Amex. He consulted relatives and friends. He consulted neighbors. He decided on a cab.
- 23.59 Hours PTD – Ali was the very first person to check in online. Because it’s a race.
- 12 Hours PTD – Ali Ignored the fact that clothes and computers were scattered around. Everywhere. And that there was a slim possibility they’d all fit in his carry-on.
- 8 Hours PTD – Ali contemplated the fact that the Underground is cheaper and less likely to see delays due to the inclement weather. He consulted Amex. He consulted relatives and friends. He consulted neighbors. He decided on the Underground.
- 4 Hours PTD – Ali watched as I packed all his clothes and computers. He said annoying things like, “I was just about to do that,” and “That’s a nice shirt. Make sure you don’t wrinkle it.”
- 3.5 Hours PTD – Ali noted that the rain had stopped and insisted that 3 people in a cab is only slightly more than 3 people on the Underground. He re-revised plans to take a cab and then (absurdly) said, “We should go to Hyde Park one last time.”
- 2 Hours PTD – We finally left for the airport at my insistence. En route, Ali complained that we’d get there too early and have too much time to kill.
- 1.25 Hours PTD – We arrived at the airport with less than the recommended two-hour window. Ali complained about the lines and wondered if there was another secret line that airport security kept unknown from the general public.
- 1 Hour PTD – Ali exchanged boarding passes for pool sticks and start playing pool with Maya. He ignored the loudspeaker as it repeatedly advised travelers on VS 045 to head directly to the boarding gate.
- 0.75 Hours PTD – Ali raced to the gate, all the while screaming at Maya that we were NOT on a Sunday walk, and why can’t she hurry up?
- 0.50 Hours PTD – We all collapsed on the plane. Ali said super annoying thing #542: “See? I told you we’d get here just in time.”
Nobody can accuse us of not knowing how to end a trip on the right note….