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tea time

September 20, 2011

Maya’s afterschool classes don’t start until next week. So, in an effort to entertain her until she’s someone else’s problem, I’ve been taking Maya to do random things like have afternoon tea.

It was there that I saw her: a very pretty mom chatting up her 2 little girls. And I envied her. I envied her perfect hair and her ability to seamlessly interact with her children without skipping a beat. Because here’s the thing: I do not enjoy eating out with Maya one-on-one as we have nothing to talk about.

  • What did you do at school today? Nothing.
  • How is your tea? Good.
  • What do you want to be when you grow up? A window-washer. (Still? Seriously?)

Apparently, it’s only when Maya doesn’t have my full, undivided attention that she has a million things to say and interrupts with the utmost urgency. But when it’s just us? Silence.

I feel bad for admitting this but I kind of wish Maya was old enough for an iPhone so that we could both pull them out and surf the Internet as we enjoy our scones. In silence.

So I’m thinking an iPhone for her 7th birthday in March? Followed by a high tea. Any thoughts?

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100 Comments leave one →
  1. September 20, 2011 12:25 am

    Well, I guess its a good learning tool LOL
    *kisses* HH

  2. September 20, 2011 1:57 am

    Not a good idea .. Sorry if this comes out as a lecture But spending more time with the kid is anytime better then surfing on iphone :)

    I love the food on the table :)

    and Maya looks lovely God bless …

    • September 20, 2011 1:59 pm

      Hmmm…I was kidding? And Maya thanks you for the compliment. :)

  3. September 20, 2011 2:14 am

    Really? I thought I would have marvelous conversations with Mimi when she’d be Maya’s age. I love her name.
    An iphone for the 7th bday- not a great idea, but high tea – sounds just perfect

    • September 20, 2011 2:00 pm

      Conversation is easier now but sometimes it can be like pulling teeth!

  4. September 20, 2011 4:17 am

    When I was younger (and even today to an extent) my mom and I didn’t talk too much during our “quality time”. She would bring me a coloring book and bring along a book for herself when we’d go to restaurants or to the park. Just spending time with her was enough for me. However, Maya sounds a lot more outgoing than I was. Maybe high tea and an Etch-A-Sketch? Wow, I’m dating myself.

    • September 20, 2011 2:00 pm

      The truth is that I was dying to bring a book but I thought it would be SO wrong. I’m glad your mom did the same!

  5. September 20, 2011 4:22 am

    Ha – I don’t think anyone gets your sarcasm so far.

  6. September 20, 2011 4:25 am

    LOL!!! My little sister got a phone for her 9th b-day… it is never too soon to keep em entertained ;p

    • September 20, 2011 2:01 pm

      So I have to wait 2 + more years for it to be acceptable? :)

  7. September 20, 2011 5:32 am

    lol. what is the typical age these days for getting cell phones? does it really start at 7?

    • September 20, 2011 2:02 pm

      I actually don’t know but I have seen some kids at Maya’s school with phones and they look about her age.

  8. September 20, 2011 5:53 am

    Haha… I know what you mean, kids tend not to talk that much when their parents around. I have to basically “force” my son to tell me what happens at school. Maya is a beautiful little girl!

  9. September 20, 2011 6:25 am

    To her credit, she’s consistent with her answer.

    My vote is for mani-pedis. You can just sit next to one another and relax. Plus whenever I’m at a nail salon, something extremely bizarre usually happens to me or another patron so at least the two of you will have something to laugh about ;)

    • September 20, 2011 2:03 pm

      Very good idea Kat. I’ve taken her a couple of times so maybe I need to make this a more frequent thing?

  10. September 20, 2011 6:47 am

    You know…I’ve seen kids much younger than seven on i-phones at the mall :-)

  11. September 20, 2011 6:49 am

    Haha…I’m still like that with my mom. I talk way more when I know she’s preoccupied and would rather not be talking to me. One time she actually hung up on me because her favorite show was starting and I wouldn’t shut up!

    And random side note…Maya is such a pretty girl!

  12. September 20, 2011 7:02 am

    Tea time is wonderful. There is a little tea shop not too far from us that my sister and I love to go to. I’ve even been there with Ralph several times. It’s not just a girly place, guys like it too.

    As for the I-phone for Maya…hmmm…

  13. September 20, 2011 7:07 am

    I love you for your honesty. Even though I’m positive you are being half sarcastic (about the iPhone in particular) I am really afraid I will never be one of those parents who can sit and talk with their kids for hours on end about Dora and crayons.
    Perhaps this is why I have yet to consider reproducing.

    • September 20, 2011 2:05 pm

      Thanks for getting my sarcasm Jessica! I’m not sure if everyone did. And yes…I strive for honesty here so others can relate!

  14. September 20, 2011 7:26 am

    Kids can be so boring. I don’t care what you say about the woman with two daughters and perfect hair, I highly doubt her conversations with the girls were intellectual or even remotely interesting.
    But fret not because in another 10-15 years you and Maya can have heated political debates and conversations about ethics. And, naturally, you will never agree on anything.

    • September 20, 2011 2:05 pm

      I can’t wait for another 10-15 years. I can’t wait!

  15. September 20, 2011 7:31 am

    Wow how lucky Maya would be to get an IPhone for her 7th birthday! My parents wouldn’t buy me a cell phone until I turned 14! Well, I guess that was back in the day; now kids practically get cells as soon as they can talk
    Oh and in all seriousness Ameena, if I were a mother out to high tea with her daughter, I would totally be envying your hair/outfits/put-togetherness :)

  16. September 20, 2011 8:01 am

    Eh, Maya’s at an awkward age for conversations. My Dad always said he liked it when we got older because he could actually have a conversation with us. On a side note, I definitely recognize those fruit skewers (not to mention Maya’s doll). I went to afternoon tea service at American Girl Doll myself a year or so back with a friend and her little sister. Enjoyed it way more than an eighteen year old should have, lol.

    • September 20, 2011 2:06 pm

      I love the American Girl Cafe…the food is overpriced but quite tasty!

  17. September 20, 2011 8:13 am

    Hah! I know what you mean. Kudos to you both for hanging in there.

  18. September 20, 2011 8:20 am

    Hmm that’s the same conversation I have with my hubby — so he pulls out his iPad and I pull out my iPhone..meh, whatever works!

  19. September 20, 2011 8:20 am

    That child is darling. You should talk about boys and how evil they are. She’s going to be in trouble, beating them off. And there is nothing wrong with surfing the net in companionable silence.

    • September 20, 2011 2:06 pm

      Thank you. I think the boy-lecture will be in the not-so-far-future.

  20. September 20, 2011 8:28 am

    Hilarious!! I phones @high tea. It’s interesting that there is “tea time.” I didn’t really know that was done. Shows how unrefined I am I guess!!! If she becomes a window washer you might get lucky and she’ll never move out of the house!

    • September 20, 2011 2:07 pm

      Come to LA and Maya and I will take you to high tea. We go quite a bit because it is so good!

  21. September 20, 2011 8:48 am

    you two are hystercial.

    Plus you ARE an amazing mom for taking your beautiful daughter for high tea.

    I never got to do high tea with my Mom. I don’t think people did high tea in san diego in the 80′s anyways.

    unless you wer ein Paris.

    anyways…as always I love your wit and sarcasm. I don’t feel alone.

    plus you don’t fool me one bit.
    we should go have high tea and I’ll chat your ear off! You’ll be dying for a quiet minute with Maya!
    xoxoxoxo

    • September 20, 2011 2:07 pm

      You name the day Cindy and we’ll have high tea. Any day!

  22. September 20, 2011 9:03 am

    Hmm, not so much for the American Girl part, but I do love the tradition of afternoon tea. I’m so excited to do that with my nieces as a fun “Auntie” activity whenever they visit me in Chicago!

    • September 20, 2011 7:42 pm

      You didn’t like American Girl? Really? I think their food was pretty delicious!

  23. September 20, 2011 9:22 am

    I TOTALLY understand, and you know i mean it. Seriously, when you have the time, they have nothing to say, but when you’re super busy multitasking a million things, that’s when the million questions start. You also forgot to mention how a lot of their questions really don’t have an answer to, or how after answering the 20th question, they slip in one question that brings you right back to square one again.

    • September 20, 2011 7:43 pm

      Oh totally…each questions brings on 10 more questions which usually brings us back to the original question. It’s a vicious cycle.

  24. September 20, 2011 1:50 pm

    Oh gah, I don’t have the childrens but I still don’t understand how people talk to them. It seems so hard. I get all clammy and nervous when there’s even a child in my presence, and when we have to talk I can’t think of a thing to say. It’s a nightmare.

    • September 20, 2011 7:43 pm

      I get clammy and nervous too and it’s been nearly 7 years! I wish I was kidding!!

  25. Lisa permalink
    September 20, 2011 2:07 pm

    I say be the trendsetter.

    Get her the iphone and be damned with what everybody else thinks.

    You know your husband will be on board with this given his love of all things electronic! LOL!

    • September 20, 2011 7:44 pm

      Lisa – you are SO right. Ali will be all for this idea! :)

  26. September 20, 2011 2:12 pm

    The most important things kids have to say is when the moms are super busy. Or in the loo.

    But the iphone might be a tad precipitous. Hey bring her to Paris and she can talk to my seven year old!

    • September 20, 2011 7:45 pm

      The next time I’m in Paris (hopefully next year) I will definitely introduce her to your seven year old! They can talk each other’s ears off.

  27. September 20, 2011 2:22 pm

    —Ameena,
    I LOVE your honesty.
    Don’t compare yourself to other moms!! Stop That :)) x

    • September 20, 2011 7:46 pm

      I am terrible with the comparing. It’s an addiction I think!

  28. September 20, 2011 2:27 pm

    I have always been immensely close to my mum, so non stop chattering has always been my forte. Mainly because I have to tell her everything :) I have no idea how I’ll be with my kids.

    I am sure Maya had a great time with her mum, I mean come on look at that cute smile on her face!

    • September 20, 2011 7:47 pm

      I hope that Maya and I get there one day! And that she says the same thing about me. :)

  29. September 20, 2011 4:02 pm

    Hahahaha oh Ameena, I just love you. :)

  30. September 20, 2011 5:53 pm

    Do they have American Girl Doll in LA now? They have these conversation starter cards that you can use there with your Doll or take to some nicer place, with scones.

    • September 20, 2011 7:47 pm

      Our American Girl has been here a while…at least 3-4 years I think?

  31. September 20, 2011 6:19 pm

    If you give her the iphone and Ali gives her the ipad then your next tea time will definitely go better than this one.

    I wonder what Maya would do if you started talking to her doll. [I have no idea why I thought of that. Try it next time and report back, please!]

    • September 20, 2011 7:48 pm

      Are you kidding? Maya would LOVE it if I talked to her doll. She’d giggle away like it was the funniest thing in the world. :)

  32. September 20, 2011 6:39 pm

    I got my first cell phone when I was 15 because my parents forgot to pick me up from school one day……guilty parents!

    • September 20, 2011 7:48 pm

      I think I was in college when I got my first cell phone! 19 or 20 maybe?

  33. Mimi permalink
    September 20, 2011 9:40 pm

    Maya’s such a lucky girl if she’s getting an iPhone!

    Lol, my mom just treats me like a friend rather than a daughter when we’re out at lunch or whatnot. It’s always been like that. But then again, I was the kind of kid who “hung out” with her parents a lot growing up, as well as other adults. It’s conversations with peers I don’t know well that can make me clam up!

    • September 21, 2011 8:49 am

      She’s not getting an iPhone…apparently I am just not very good at the sarcasm. :)

  34. September 20, 2011 10:11 pm

    When you have all the time in the world and are ready to talk they just stare at you with a blank look on their face. When you’re exhausted & it’s time for bedtime all of a sudden it’s time to play a billion questions. I remember hearing a long time ago to talk when your kids want to talk. Otherwise if you pick and choose only when YOU want to talk, they’ll just stop coming to you. Not always easy, but I am trying.

    • September 21, 2011 8:49 am

      Thank GOD it’s not just me Marie! Good advice as well…

  35. September 20, 2011 10:19 pm

    Seriously, my daughter will NOT shut up. It’s charming – for awhile. And then I need some quiet time. Maybe I should consider the iPhone for my daughter’s 6th birthday next year? hahaha Anyway, I should just remind myself that in 10 years from now, my daughter will not want to be seen in my vicinity, never mind have a conversation with me in public.

    Love the fruit skewers!

    • September 21, 2011 8:50 am

      Maya won’t shut up either…unless it’s just the two of us face-to-face with nothing to do but talk. Very strange…

  36. September 20, 2011 10:44 pm

    It cause she knows she can’t have you when you are involved in something else. We always want what we can’t have, right?! But you know when she is older and ignores you to chat with her own friends you will probably end up missing alone time with her…maybe…right?

  37. September 21, 2011 3:45 am

    I totally get what you mean about moms who can talk seamlessly with their kids. I find I have to be relaxed enough to separate from my day, to be patient (not easy). I do love going for tea, I’d be happy to talk to Maya (it’s easier with someone elses kid).

    • September 21, 2011 8:51 am

      I find it even harder to talk to other people’s children, although I do find myself a bit more patient with them. Maybe because I have to be?

  38. September 21, 2011 6:52 am

    Haha! My mom and I used to go to “high teas” too. I turned out okay, so I think you made the right move with Maya. Take cake, sweet lady!

  39. September 21, 2011 8:06 am

    My son is only 3 so our conversations mostly go like this
    “Mom I take a nasty dump”
    or
    “Mom I’m hungry”
    or
    “Mom you’re ridiculous”
    sigh…

    • September 21, 2011 8:52 am

      Really? He says “nasty dump?” He is one funny 3-year-old!! I love it.

  40. September 21, 2011 9:55 am

    You could always text each other at the table!! :)

  41. September 21, 2011 11:57 am

    ha ha – guess people don’t get your sense of humor?? My kiddos actually love playing on my phone – I think they know how to work it better than me. We actually gave them our old iphones – they still have the games…but still like playing with the new one’s. Maya is beautiful.

  42. Leslie permalink
    September 21, 2011 4:56 pm

    Well, Ameena, I asked Mom about we talked about when I was little. She said, “You NEVER stopped talking.” Apparently I was talking even when I couldn’t speak words.

    “Baa Baa BAA Baa!” So I got no help on the conversation front.

    I adored going out to eat with Mom. In Pittsburgh, we had the Tick Tock Shop – my favorite! Even if you’re not talking, I bet Maya is loving being with you.

    • September 21, 2011 7:42 pm

      Maya doesn’t stop talking…until she has my undivided attention. This is SO frustrating!

  43. September 21, 2011 5:33 pm

    I’m all for the iphone at 7. And why wait so late? My 4 year old knows how to navigate her father’s iphone, can play games and even asks us to spell words so she can “text” her friends. (at least she’ll be learning how to spell correctly if we start this early, right?)

    Oh, and the key to tea time is inviting another mother/daughter combo so quality time isn’t so mentally draining. :)

  44. September 21, 2011 7:43 pm

    I have no hopeful words. I have two boys who look like they’re going to take after their brief father. I’ve been trying to get something-anything out of Deaglan about what’s going on at school. He gives me nothing. I too may be looking to creative devices to get him to talk. At least if he’s talking to a friend, I can eavesdrop and figure out what’s going on.

    • September 22, 2011 2:03 pm

      But why does she talk non-stop until she has my full attention? This is what drives me bananas!

  45. September 21, 2011 8:54 pm

    I totally see this happening to me. Thank you for at least being honest! And I know you were saying it in jest but is it really that big a deal to get your kid an iphone? I don’t think so.Can’t get over how cute Maya is!

    • September 22, 2011 2:04 pm

      Eventually she’s going to get an iPhone and I’m sure we’ll get some grief about it. Not sure what the acceptable cell phone age is these days?

  46. September 21, 2011 9:06 pm

    The secret is to have her bring a long a little friend so they can entertain each other and then you can read your book or surf the net. But absent a little friend, I vote for an Iphone. It’s inevitable anyway.

    • September 22, 2011 2:04 pm

      I desperately tried to find someone to accompany us, but had no luck! And yes, the phone is inevitable!

  47. Nikee permalink
    September 22, 2011 2:03 pm

    I get your sarcasm and I love it! :) Around here kids get cell phones when they begin 6th grade around 11.

    • September 22, 2011 4:56 pm

      Nikee – I’m thrilled that someone gets my sarcasm! Thank you! :)

  48. September 22, 2011 11:27 pm

    Haha LOVE this post..brilliant! I’m 23 and sometimes my mom and I run out of things to say…if it’s just the 2 of us/I have her full attention!

  49. September 23, 2011 12:39 am

    Hm, I never have silence with my mom, but with my dad quite a lot. But that’s okay, although it may seem akward.

    An iPhone for her 7th birthday, seriously? 8O Wouldn’t you regret that for the rest of your life? :D (Okay, this is from somebody who lived without internet until her early 20s. ;))

    • September 23, 2011 9:49 am

      No Kath…I was totally being sarcastic. I would never buy Maya an iPhone. Not yet anyway. :)

  50. September 24, 2011 3:46 pm

    The interchange of comments on this post has amused me to no end – I love your sense of humour! Maya is gorgeous – and don’t stress over not having too much to talk about. Sometimes being comfortable in silence with someone you love is just as good :)

    • September 24, 2011 7:32 pm

      Thank you Nada for a. getting my sarcasm (many didn’t) and b. for complimenting Maya. I appreciate it!

  51. September 26, 2011 6:51 pm

    Haha! This one surely cracked me up good (especially reading the comments). Maya looks so much like you. Gorgeous girl :)

  52. September 27, 2011 5:49 pm

    I can’t believe all of those people are trying to talk you out of the iPhone. Think of all the apps she can download! I bet it’ll even help her learn her numbers. ;) Just kidding …

    • September 27, 2011 7:19 pm

      There are actually a whole bunch of great learning apps for kids…Ali has every single one of them on his phone! :)

  53. amber miller permalink
    October 5, 2011 9:26 am

    My son is 4 years old and shuts down the minute he gets in the Car! Drives me crazy I want to know how his day went!

    • October 5, 2011 2:09 pm

      I talked to Maya’s teacher about this and she says that Maya is very talkative in class! So I guess it’s just me she doesn’t want to talk to about school?

  54. October 13, 2011 5:47 pm

    She is adorable! :) And I already know you wouldn’t buy her an iPhone just yet … !

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

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