The Process of Learning
15 Mar
Prior to having Maya, I had never changed a diaper. I’d also never opened a jar of baby food, held a baby for longer than five minutes, or had the slightest clue what to do with a crying child. I guess you could say that I was born without that motherly instinct. I was always too afraid of vomit, sticky fingers, and crying to really form a bond with the few kids that I interacted with. So it goes without saying that when Maya came along I was VERY unprepared.
The first time I held Maya I had no clue what to do with her. I looked at her and saw this bright red, angry little stranger who wouldn’t.stop.crying. I started crying too, and I can assure you they weren’t tears of joy. They were more of the, “Holy s@#$ what on earth am I going to do now?” variety.
Despite a lot of screaming (Maya), a lot of Baby Einstein (Maya), and many, many breakdowns (me), we both made it to the six month mark alive. And believe me when I say I was eagerly counting down because everyone told me things would start getting easier at six months. In some ways things did get better - Maya was more interactive and slept for slightly longer stretches of time. I also hired a nanny and went back to work, which if I’m being 100% honest, was the best decision for both of us. But things continued to be difficult because Maya still wouldn’t.stop.crying!!
And then Maya turned one and she started sleeping for six to eight-hour stretches. Things were immediately a lot better for everyone involved.
As one year quickly turned into two…and then three:
The crying tapered off and sleep wasn’t so elusive anymore. With both of us well rested, Maya and I actually started to bond.
We found we had a few things in common, namely our short tempers, our lack of rhythm, and our frizzy hair:
And as time went on I found myself actually learning from my own child.
She taught me it’s okay not to care if other people think you are nuts:
She taught me it is okay to wear trashy T-shirts and to mix pink and red with no long-lasting repercussions:
And she taught me that cleaning up vomit isn’t the worst thing in the world:
But most of all she’s taught me that while neither of us have all the answers, we are doing okay figuring things out as we muddle along. After all, we’ve somehow made it through five years already…whats another few decades or so?
Happy Birthday Maya!!
