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an addition

July 12, 2017

My husband returned from a 2+ week trip a few days ago, bringing with him 15 pairs of dirty socks and an Echo Show.

Yes, we have a new member of the household, and her name is Alexa.


  • I like her name.


  • Alexa doesn’t understand anything I say.
  • Alexa doesn’t understand anything Ali says.
  • Alexa can’t do anything useful.
  • Alexa knows less than Siri.
  • Alexa knows even less than Kortana. (Ali will be especially upset at this bullet point as he has an affinity for Kortana. I think he feels sorry for her.)
  • I feel like Alexa is constantly watching me.
  • I have to hear Ali and Maya yelling “Alexa!” at the top of their lungs every few minutes, as though she’s 97-years-old and has a hearing problem.
  • Alexa is taking up valuable counter space.
  • The box Alexa arrived in is still in the middle of the floor. I trip over it daily.

I begged Ali to return her.

Me: “Please stop cluttering our apartment with useless stuff. Please.”

Ali’s response?Alexa! Play upbeat orchestra music.”

Alexa: “Sorry, I don’t understand that.”

Well at least Alexa and I have one thing in common: neither of us understand my husband.

23 Comments leave one →
  1. July 12, 2017 6:46 am

    Funny 🙂 I have to repeat things to Alexa as well.

    • July 12, 2017 6:05 pm

      I’m sorry to hear that…was hoping we had a problematic device but it appears not!

  2. July 12, 2017 7:50 am

    Oh hell my bro gave me one for Christmas and I have yet to set up the terror of Alexa. If I had such a lighting system she would dim and brighten at my will but my lighting won’t work like that so I am still scared of setting her up because I would probably order weird/fancy baking shit through way too often. Too easy to spend money and not useful otherwise.,,

    • July 12, 2017 6:05 pm

      She makes it really easy to spend money…and maybe that’s all she facilitates??

  3. July 12, 2017 8:33 am

    Hahah! Alexa is really useless. We have a Google Home as well and she functions so much better than Alexa. And I agree with your only point in pros! 😀

    • July 12, 2017 6:04 pm

      I’m so ignorant as this is the very first time I’m hearing about Google Home. I hope my husband doesn’t know about it / order it…

  4. July 12, 2017 1:59 pm

    This post is everything. My dad got Google Home for Christmas, and I forgot that’s what it was the first time I watched their house/cats after they got it, so I kept saying “OK, Alexa” when trying to get it to do something instead of “OK, Google.” So I was yelling “ALEXA! OK, ALEXA!” and nothing, nothing, nothing. And then I remembered it was Google. In short, I’m also so over Alexa.

    • July 12, 2017 6:04 pm

      I laughed out loud at this Jenna…so funny. Too much technology EVERYWHERE. I’m so over her too.

  5. July 18, 2017 10:48 am

    Hahaha!!! I had no idea what Alexa was at first. I thought you got a puppy!! Ha!

    • July 18, 2017 3:37 pm

      Ha! Maya would LOVE a puppy…not in a million years.

  6. willgoh2 permalink
    July 19, 2017 7:47 pm

    I refuse to have an Alexa or any other Google/Kortana, etc “smart” thing wired to my house. Aside from the fact that I don’t want “another woman” that my husband give attention to (hahahahahaha!), I am fearful about voice (any really, fingerprint, etc) recognition technology. At some point it has the potential to be hackable. I’d hate for someone to control my house using my own voice, or whatever else. That is creepy and scary to think about.

  7. DVstudent permalink
    July 25, 2017 3:35 pm

    Oh god, my sister and BIL have one. Scared the he** out of me when I visited, and they’d keep yelling over my head to get Alexa to turn on the oven or something (because they couldn’t walk the 3 steps to turn it on themselves?). And THEN Alexa would start talking to me when I made the slightest noise in the kitchen.

    I hate Alexa and refuse to have one in my house. That’s so creepy-like having a roommate you never asked for!

  8. July 27, 2017 11:57 am

    I have finally caught up with a year of your posts! Thank you for continuing to share your bewilderment with your two nearest and dearest – these posts have made my day. Bless you Ameena!

  9. August 14, 2017 4:16 pm

    🤣 this was hilarious!

  10. November 25, 2017 5:12 am

    Hi Ameena! I’m on your blog after years and read your posts until Nov 2015. Totally enjoying your sarcasm but it’s 2am here so I have to pause and catch up more tomorrow 😀 Maya will be a teenager next year omg, how time flies. So beautiful and same charm. And it’s been so many years but your hair issues still continue..haha!! :)) So nice reading your blog again. Not sure if you remember’s been a while. Have a great weekend!

    • November 26, 2017 7:19 pm

      Sadly the hair issues will continue forever!! Thank you for reading my friend, and for the nice comment. I hope your Thanksgiving was fantastic.

  11. ittakestime permalink
    February 20, 2018 3:54 pm

    Ameena I miss you 😦 Come back come back! I need some dose of Ameena Sarcasm or tell me you are secretly working on a book. We demand some posts 🙂

    • February 22, 2018 8:10 pm

      You inspired me to write a new post…just published one after a LONG time. Thanks for reading my friend!

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