priorities
In a perfect world my priorities would look a little something like this:
- Family
- Health
- Career
- Helping Others
- [Insert 5th important thing that shouldn’t have slipped my mind]
In reality, my priorities look a little something like this:
- Work. Lots of work.
- Furious and obsessive cleaning.
- Trying my best not to burn my forehead with a curling iron.
- Obsessing about how ugly our master bedroom looks and how I feel helpless in getting it back on track.
- Spending a few minutes of quality time yelling at Ali and Maya for _______ (fill in the blank).
The bad news is that my priorities are very messed up. But the good news is that I totally have a plan to get back on track and I’ve already taken a few steps in the right direction…
Yesterday I packed Maya off to my in-laws place, packed a carry-on each for Ali and me, and hopped on a red-eye to New York City. So now I have 4 days and 3 nights to examine the error of my ways.
And I’m going to do just that. Right after I catch up with old friends, hit up Bloomingdale’s, and have a couple of good meals at Tao and Bouchon…
Like this:
a dead shark
Do you know what the hardest thing to give your child is? Undivided attention.
I am well aware of this and yet I had the brilliant idea to tell Maya that in lieu of a birthday gift, I was going to take her somewhere special.
When I broke the news to her and saw the huge smile on her face, I felt like the best parent ever. As a matter of fact, the smirk I threw Ali’s way screamed something along the lines of “I’m a way better parent than you because I denounced materialism in favor of spending time with our child.”
Minutes later, however, Ali handed Maya his gift of an Air Swimmer Shark
Anyway, I finally made good on my promise and took Maya to Disneyland. It goes without saying that a visit to Disneyland is harder than my hardest day at work.
But 12.5 hours later? When we both returned home tired, in a bad mood, and covered in grime? And I saw Maya’s two-week-old deflated Air Swimmer hovering near death?
I realized it was all worth it.
Like this:
notes…lots of notes…
At 6 am on Saturday morning:
- Maya woke up with a bundle of energy, 5,000 questions, and an obnoxiously loud voice.
- I woke up with a headache and a mile long To-Do list.
- Ali realized things were going to get ugly and quickly beat a hasty retreat to a “work meeting.”
Maya: “What are we doing today Mama?”
Me: “We are writing your thank you cards,” I told her. “All 25 of them.”
Things started out peacefully. As I researched addresses and made labels, Maya ran with her creative side and decided to make shoe-shaped cards out of construction paper. Ten cutouts and an hour later we were having some serious quality control issues.
Me: “You can make crappy cards Maya but I’m just going to make you do them over. And we’ll be here for another 6 hours doing them over.”
We agreed to scrap the homemade card idea and pulled out Hallmark’s best instead. Two more hours later and comments like:
Maya: “Are we finished yet?”
Me: “If I hear one more complaint out of your mouth I’m returning every single gift. Every. Single. Gift.”
And then at last. We were finally done.
I’m not going to lie…it was painful. And I think it goes without saying that I would have rather cleaned the kitchen 5 times over than spend 3 hours writing thank you notes. But Maya will not be that kid who doesn’t acknowledge each and every gift she receives. Or worse…Maya will not be that bratty kid who sends a misspelled 100 character text thanking someone for their gift.
True story.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
