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the fork

July 11, 2014

There is a fork that resides, almost permanently, on our kitchen counter.

This fork is stationed approximately 1.5” from the fridge and approximately 1’ from our hanging cutlery rack. *

 

Quick trip to LA = Even Messier Hair

Quick trip to LA = Messy Hair All Around

 

For a while, the fork’s constant presence on the counter befuddled me:

  • Was the fork somehow falling out as I emptied the dishwasher?
  • Was Maya using a fork to comb her Barbie’s hair again (not unheard of)?
  • Did the fork fall from the hanging cutlery rack and shift itself 12 inches to the right, just to annoy me?

 

Early Morning Walks on the Coast = Even Frizzier Hair

Early Morning Walks on the LA Coast = Even Frizzier Hair

 

But my hypotheses only yielded more unanswered questions:

  • Why was it always a salad fork? Why not a larger one?
  • And why always a fork? Why not a spoon or knife?

 

Maya's hair eventually settled down...mine required a magical Brazilian concoction to do the same.

Maya’s hair eventually settled down…mine required a magical Brazilian concoction to do the same.

 

And so I finally broke down and posed the question aloud, in my most neutral and least offensive voice, being sure to address nobody in particular so that I couldn’t be accused of pointing fingers.

Me: “Can someone please tell me why there is ALWAYS a fork sitting on the counter next to the fridge?”

Ali: “Because I use it to take the tea bag out of my tea.”

 

Maya knows that sharing hats = OFF LIMITS (I have a ridiculous fear of lice). But I'm guessing The Captain is probably exempt.

Maya knows that sharing hats = OFF LIMITS (I have a ridiculous fear of lice). But I’m going to assume The Captain is all clear and let it go this time.

 

So now it’s the sugar bowl AND the fork, in a kitchen the size of a stamp. It’s also Day # 14 of Ramadan and I’m working on 4.5 hours of sleep each night, for the last week at least.

I may be overreacting here but I’m thinking we should rename the kitchen “Ali’s tea-making facility” and call it a day.

 

*I received lots of grief for adding this to our gift registry…I believe several people referred to it as “tacky.” But 14 years later I believe it is probably the most brilliant, and most used, gift we received.
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56 Comments leave one →
  1. Meg permalink
    July 11, 2014 5:02 am

    Hi Ameena, I am so addicted to reading your blog(actually supposed to be catching up on FYE work but none the less here I am…) Well done on being such an awesome Mom and a fantastic wife(You really do more than is expected of you!) Love the pics! Love the sarcasm!
    Take care,
    Meg (Durban – South Africa)

    • July 11, 2014 4:53 pm

      Hi Meg – thank you so much for the very nice comment! And from South Africa no less. I really appreciate you reading! And good luck with the FYE. :)

  2. July 11, 2014 5:03 am

    he he he he .. perfect normal answer .. if only you had asked it earlier :) would have saved you all this confusion

    and what a name for the kitchen very Unique .. a eureka moment he he he

    ok now dont kill me .. I am going … :) :) :)

    • July 11, 2014 4:54 pm

      If only I had asked it earlier…exactly Bikram! I need to learn to cut my losses sooner, right? :)

  3. shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com permalink
    July 11, 2014 5:26 am

    Haha – Your hypothetical reasoning behind it’s presence sure made me chuckle – specially “Was Maya using a fork to comb her Barbie’s hair again (not unheard of)?” – now that the mystery has been solved, I hope you get some shut eye :)

    • July 11, 2014 4:54 pm

      Yes, the fork, among other things, was definitely keeping me up. Ramadan doesn’t help!!

  4. July 11, 2014 6:49 am

    maya is looking so grown up lately! hope you had a fab time in L.A. and all the hairs look to be in place :)

    • July 11, 2014 4:55 pm

      It’s a mirage…the hairs are NOT in place. They are better but not in place. :)

  5. July 11, 2014 8:39 am

    Yes. I know “the fork” except in my house its an empty beer bottle that keeps appearing on the coffee table…I’d rather a fork.
    On another note y’all are always the cutest. I know you think your hair is out of control, but I’d love to own hair with volume and its just not in the cards here. Thus is life.

    • July 11, 2014 4:56 pm

      So nice of you to say Brittany! But trust me, walk a few minutes in my shoes and you’d beg for your smooth hair again. Trust me on this!

  6. July 11, 2014 9:03 am

    What’s wrong with a hanging cutlery rack? Sounds like a perfectly acceptable gift. Also, that damn fork is my husband’s lunchbox, his keys, his sunglasses-in the kitchen!!!! Yes, I realize you use them every day but oh my gosh can you just put them somewhere else over night!!!!!!

    • July 11, 2014 4:57 pm

      I bought Ali a nice side table catch all for his keys, etc. But years later and it’s spotlessly clean and brand new! Bizarre.

      • gary permalink
        July 12, 2014 9:31 pm

        Maybe he just likes the counter? /or maybe he doesn’t know about the side table. Have you ever asked him about it? It’s really normal for us, Men I mean. We forgot things you wouldn’t believe (but I think you already have!).

    • July 26, 2014 9:47 pm

      Your husband and my boyfriend must talk. He does the exact. same. thing. I’ve even bought him a couple of baskets for all of his crap! Nope. Everything ends up sprawled around our kitchen/dining room since it’s the first place he walks into! GAh!

      • July 28, 2014 3:41 pm

        Speaking of the first place “some of us” enter…our entry way is a giant disaster because you know who throws his shoes, socks, glasses, keys, wallet, etc. all over the area near the front door. And all in different spots near the front door.

        Sorry you feel my pain! LOL

  7. July 11, 2014 9:37 am

    what’s the Brazilian concoction? And how about a post what you would register for if you did it now. Love you, miss you. Run past your building all the time, realize it’s maybe your “old’ building now?

    • July 11, 2014 4:58 pm

      Miss you too L. I’m about to shift to the other side of the city…we should take a walk before I go! I will send you an email. :)

  8. July 11, 2014 7:04 pm

    I was gonna say he needs his own lil’ tea caddy but what the heck, why not rename the whole zone? Also, I would love a cutlery rack.

    • July 14, 2014 2:38 am

      The cutlery rack is from Crate and Barrel…can’t recommend it enough!

  9. July 11, 2014 8:28 pm

    How forking annoying. Funny thing is, it probably makes perfect sense to Ali :-)

  10. July 11, 2014 9:03 pm

    Haaa.
    Ali, up to his ol’ tricks again! He def. gives you funny content for your blogs, Ameena! xx

    • July 14, 2014 2:39 am

      The truth is that I’m not sure what else I would write about?? :)

  11. July 12, 2014 1:56 am

    Right when I started reading this post, I had the feeling it was eventually going to point to Ali :). I feel like I know you and your family quite well now!!

    • July 14, 2014 2:40 am

      99% of my randomness usually points to Ali. Or Maya. Or both!

  12. July 12, 2014 4:01 pm

    Love the sidenote about the cutlery rack, haha. I still don’t understand why a small salad fork is the only suitable utensil to remove a bag of tea? I’m assuming the tea bag is the kind without a string :P ?

    • July 14, 2014 2:40 am

      The tea bag has a string so I don’t get why cutlery is needed at all?

  13. July 13, 2014 12:02 am

    Even though I only read your blog sporadically, I am always amused by your stories! Isn’t it great to solve a mystery, even if the answer is a little funny?

    • July 14, 2014 2:40 am

      Thank you for being amused by my randomness….it is great to solve a mystery. And the answer is always a little funny! :)

  14. July 13, 2014 1:29 am

    Ali really needs to use a teaspoon instead of a fork. Then, he can fish the teabag out of the chai, and use the same teaspoon to stir the sugar. And then if he feels so inclined, use the same teaspoon for a second chai later in the day. Not that I speak from experience or anything ;)

    • July 14, 2014 2:41 am

      There is a spoon near the kettle, for the sugar. Some of us like to spread the mess out out in our tiny kitchen….

  15. July 13, 2014 5:31 am

    Tell Ali to use his hands to dip the tea bag and stand there patiently so he can put the used tea bag on a small platter. :)
    hahaha jk boys will do no such thing :P

    • July 14, 2014 2:41 am

      Ali doesn’t utilize the tea bag string. I can’t seem to figure out why??

      • July 14, 2014 2:56 am

        MEN!!!! :P You seriously will never understand what they do! And you probably are more familiar with this than me as I am not yet married hehe

      • July 14, 2014 3:31 am

        14 years later and I’m still not too familiar. :)

      • July 14, 2014 6:18 pm

        I have much to look forward to! :D haha

  16. nadia permalink
    July 13, 2014 11:16 pm

    meena!! so good to have you back…i feel like we’ve talked about this fork prob, except i think it used to be a spoon….i’m totally guilty of the same thing in the kitchen!! i swear i make my tea and leave my honey spoon out….except i do have a v cute lil ceramic square to place it on, by tea forte….it’s meant for just that, lol! i’ll have to send you one….v impressed you’re not complaining about the long hours sans food or agua….great job!!
    miss you!! xoxoxo

    • July 14, 2014 2:42 am

      The spoon relates to the sugar, the fork to the tea bag. We like to keep our messes separate and spread out Nadia. :) Miss you too…hope Ramadan is going okay in your neck of the woods!

  17. Jessie E. permalink
    July 14, 2014 10:03 am

    I missed your posts! And I hear you on the random things sitting out on kitchen counters (like a shoe. Yes, a SHOE.) That mystery would have been driving me crazy! Also, I would totally go for a hanging cutlery rack. We have a hanging pot rack and sometimes it looks a little lonely :)

    • July 18, 2014 1:43 am

      A shoe? So confused. How can anyone at all justify a shoe on the counter?

      I’d probably go completely off the rails if I saw that…

  18. Lydia permalink
    July 14, 2014 1:18 pm

    I’m glad the fork mystery is solved, though Ali’s answer just trigger more questions and confusion, why would Ali need a fork to take a tea bag from his tea? Can’t he just use the tag? More importantly, can’t he put the fork in the sink/dishwasher once he’s done? :-)

    I love Maya’s hair, it’s long and gorgeous. She’s so adorable.

    • July 18, 2014 1:43 am

      Apparently the tag is just for decorative purposes…not really sure why it can’t be used?

      And thank you for the compliment. Maya has good hair. Let’s hope it doesn’t evolve into my frizzy mess!

  19. July 14, 2014 6:22 pm

    bahaha you crack me up funny lady. hang in there! =)

  20. July 14, 2014 7:30 pm

    I just had to Google hanging cutlery rack – I feel like a bad kitchen person. It looks delightful. Also, men have strange kitchen habits. I think they’re practically hardwired for it.

    • July 18, 2014 1:44 am

      I’m a bad kitchen person … don’t worry! The only thing I know about my kitchen is that it has a cutlery rack and I love it.

  21. Seana permalink
    July 16, 2014 6:46 am

    I knew from the 1st sentence of your post who the culprit was :) I too always go for a salad fork only because I prefer them to big forks. However, mine always makes it to the dishwasher.
    Your fear of lice is not a bad one to have. I have the same fear. However, we differ in that my son had it once, my daughter twice, and guess who they shared it with, You got it. Me. This was years and years ago yet my skin still gets goose bumps talking about it. Can’t kill the suckers. Shampoo, hair color nothing works. Picture going into your boss’s office and his boss is there too and telling them you must leave work to deal with a lice situation. I did not know I had it at them time. Mortifying. Sorry if that was too much information. I wouldn’t even wear the captain’s hat.

    • July 18, 2014 1:46 am

      What did your boss say? You are a brave lady…I would never have told anyone I had lice.

      We had it as kids – brought it back from India as a souvenir. And my mom could NOT get them out of our hair. We had to get an extra-strength potion from the doctor. Those Indian lice are stubborn.

      I have chills right now just thinking about it.

      • Seana permalink
        July 18, 2014 5:29 am

        My boss looked at me liked I had three heads. His boss laughed. They wouldv’e figured it out as I was out of work 3 days trying to get rid of the little buggers. It really hard a I have long curly hair.

      • July 18, 2014 4:55 pm

        I have long / curly hair so I totally get it Seana!

  22. July 18, 2014 11:44 pm

    All the hair madness D: I totally understand. Our family also used to have a cutlery rack, and it used to annoy the hell out of me when people would hang the cutleries randomly and not in their designated hooks!

    • July 24, 2014 4:03 am

      Or they hang the cutlery all on one side so that it’s predisposed to tipping. Which it does constantly.

      Bizarre.

  23. July 20, 2014 8:58 am

    Using a fork to take the tea bag out of the cup and not a spoon? Hhmm .. intriguing. Is this a product of Ramadan (I’m slowly losing my mind with tiredness right now) or a phenomenon that is has occurred before the month started?

    • July 21, 2014 2:31 am

      Totally agree Razwana…the tiredness is actually more difficult to get through than the hunger! I just want to sleep for 8 hours straight. :)

  24. July 23, 2014 5:37 pm

    add this to the list right? i shudder to think what these houses would look like if we weren’t around! ours would have toothpicks on every surface and a pair of dirty socks in every corner! but of all the beasts i mean men in the world, he’s the only one i am willing to clean up after haha to me that is true love, i hate cleaning.

    hope you are surviving ramadan and getting more sleep! xoxoxo

    • July 24, 2014 4:04 am

      I’m glad you found someone worth cleaning up after…that makes it so much more bearable!

      Just 4 more days of Ramadan…looking forward to getting back to a normal schedule soon. :)

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