an ounce, a grain, and a dash
Blog readers often send me super nice emails. Other emails? They aren’t so nice. It is for this reason I thought it might be useful to address some additional FAQ’s. (Please note that while real, some questions are paraphrased for entertainment value.)
Q: Does Ali get upset about the mean things you write about him?
A: 99% of the time I read my posts to Ali to make sure he is okay with what I’ve written. When I write about Ali commenting on my fat thighs I do not check with him. Because the world deserves to know that a filter-less person like my husband exists.
Q: Being a mother isn’t that hard. Why do you make it seem that way?
A: I realize that others might not find diapers, vomit, constant questions, tantrums, and whining hard (not sure who this person is but I assume she exists), but I do. Maybe I’m not a good person for admitting it, but the point of this blog is to be honest.
Q: The fact that you work and are a mother isn’t that remarkable. Many parents do the same and more.
A: Agreed. I often think I am a superhero as I wax on and on about everything I accomplish by noon. My only excuse it that Ali drives me to be this way. Plus I’m selfish.
Q: Do you fear Maya will eventually read your blog?
A: Actually, as soon as I think Maya’s old enough to understand sarcasm, I’ll be happy to help her point her browser in the right direction.
Q: Do you fear that Maya is too spoiled?
A: As the only granddaughter on one side and the only grandchild on the other, Maya is a bit indulged. But I do my best to counteract this by taking her to volunteer at different events, by constantly reminding her how lucky she is, and by making her sweep the floor on an as needed basis.
Q: You complain a lot. Why?
A: While I likely complain more than the average person, please realize that this blog is supposed to be sarcastic and funny. If I talked about flowers and puppies all day long then really, what would be the point?
Q: Are you on medication?
A: Aside from a slew of holistic remedies to counteract my eczema I am not.
Q: Do you think you need medication?
A: I don’t think so. Although Ali would likely give a resounding “yes” to answer this question.
I know that not everybody is going to appreciate or understand my writing style, but please know it is never my intention to offend anyone. Also note that I don’t purport to be an expert on any subject whatsoever. Thus I ask readers to read this blog with the knowledge that I am prone to dramatization and sarcasm.
And to those of you who get me? Thank you.