ameena’s on vacation = ali’s turn
I’ve been asking my wife if I could do a guest post for months now and a few days ago she finally said yes. I’m sure her yes has more to do with her being too busy single-handedly bolstering New York’s economy more than anything.
In any case, after much brainstorming I emailed her a draft entitled “How to Keep Your Wife Happy.” And she replied with: “You need to make your stuff funnier. More sarcastic. This is neither.”
I have to wonder: was her tone really necessary?
Anyway, once she makes a decision there’s no changing her mind. So I cut my losses and started over. This time I wrote about how she makes fun of me for being on my laptop/phone all the time but how she’s no better.
“You already wrote about this. Last year. It can’t be done again.”
My wife has the memory of an elephant.
So then I decided to write about her bizarre eating habits. I mean, what she can and can’t eat changes by the minute. Who can keep up? This time I texted her the idea while she was at Bloomingdale’s to avoid being shot down again.
“Should you be pointing fingers?” she asked. “This morning you said you couldn’t eat your potatoes because your mind was in a fog.”
So basically this post is about nothing. Other than the fact that I can’t do anything right.
What else is new?